37. i can't believe it. i keep thinking it's a typo and i'm 27 instead. each progressive year up the 30something ladder feels more depressing (aging in general is depressing, more so the older you get, and i'm getting old). 37 is just a stone from 40! i'm of an age now where i bristle a little bit when somebody asks me my age or go out of my way to not reveal it (like not talking about the 80's all the time, that's a dead giveaway).

when did i get middle-aged? but i was doing the whole middle-aged shtick long before it was age-appropriate. high blood pressure? i had that since high school. poor hearing? ditto. glasses? i've worn them since 4th grade. and ever since my late 20's i've been mildly overweight (at least in my eyes). so yeah, you can say i was a real trailblazer.

the only thing i have going for me is i don't look my age yet. i've seen facebook photos of high school friends, and many of them look the part of 36-37. maybe that's the price of being married, having a family, maybe even having a steady job (so jealous!). for whatever reason (maybe because i'm asian) time hasn't affected me too much (although that's just from a cursory glance; i did say i was already playing the part of a middle-aged man when i was still young; and i definitely don't have a body of a 20something, but even when i was 20something i never had that body).

so like all my 30something birthdays, i'm not going to make a fuss. i'll say my peace for today, but then put away all gerontological thoughts for next year. i find it easier to tell myself i'm actually 38. that way when i do the math in my head and realize i'm still just 37, it makes me feel better in a sad way. sooner or later we all turn 38 - i mean 37 (see what i mean?). and for those who've already been there, i look forward to seeing you again when i advance to your age.

when i showed up in belmont, hailey greeted me at the door with a wheezing cough. i didn't think it was so funny anymore once my father told me it was because she might've gotten a bone stuck in her throat from last night (where she got the bone nobody knows). i ended up going to chinatown with my parents to get some groceries at the newly-renovated ming's market (one of the last chinese super markets in china that isn't a c-mart franchise). on weekends the nearby parking lot is free; the only bad thing is a good share of new england's chinese asian community happens to be shopping all at the same time. but it's really like any other busy day at the somerville market basket so it wasn't that bad. we also picked up some takeout beforehand from the chinatown cafe; i went with my favorite R45. my mother also got some pastries and i had a little honey lemon cake.

when i came home after dinner it was 31°F but i quickly warmed up on the bike. i got back around 9:30 to see a note on my door. it was from my neighbor renee, who said she and her friend bill were available tonight if i wanted to show them my costa rica slideshow since they're going next week. i called her not knowing if it was too late but they were still eager to see my photos and came by minutes later. even in abbreviated mode i wasn't done until almost midnight, and that was just the 4 days in corcovado.