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NOV

19

2001

i want attention when i don't have it, but don't want attention when i do. so that's exactly how i felt today when i unleashed red pants on an unsuspecting office population. we had our monday morning company meeting so i had a whole office to showcase my new pants. i think not a single women in the office went through the day without making some sort comment about the pants. "oh, red pants!" success! red pants, finally! but too much too soon! i think monday mornings are not good red pants days. i didn't go through the day with a red pants mentality, so i felt kind of self-conscious walking around with them on. i'd go to the bathroom. "here comes red pants!" i'd think to myself. i'd walk outside. "red pants walking!" i thought. the red pants were controlling me, not the other way around. i think i should've worn these pants in private, break them in, gradually ease into them, instead of starting them out so fast and furious. you have to move differently when you wear red pants, be able to carry it off. i definitely didn't feel i had full mastery of these pants. they will require some more field testing before they are unleashed yet again on the people i know. the experience wasn't wholely anticlimatic, but i don't think i knew what i was getting myself into, the kind of commitments i was making when i decided to go with red pants this morning.

during lunch i ran. as if nature herself was sorry that i wasn't able to run on friday when it was 70 degrees outside, today she gifted me with a beautiful 65 degrees running day. i wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by like i did friday, so i went downstairs, changed quickly into my summer running clothes, and out the door i went. despite the amazing weather, i had a hard run. i kind of actually wished it was a few degrees cooler. i was so tired, having not eaten breakfast nor lunch and didn't drink a lot of water before coming out. but amazingly, i didn't stop, and kept on running even though i wanted to walk badly. it was crowded around the charles, everyone who had a mind to run made an effort to come out and enjoy another warm autumn day. when the exhausting ordeal was over, all sweaty and out of breath, i got myself a string beans chicken cutlet with capers salad.

all day long i avoided talking to amanda. if we said anything, i kept it strictly business, totally professional. but by the end of the day i couldn't resist and i let my guard down a little bit. bad news. why was i avoiding her? because i knew she wanted to gloat about the tragedy that happened last night, the patriots' loss to the st.louis rams, a game she just happened to have attended. she just wants to rub my face in the pats poo poo, which i think is totally sick, but i understand her well enough to know it was probably killing her that i managed to avoid her thus far, not giving her the satisfaction of getting me to react to her taunts. but i let my guard down, and before i knew it we were having a heated argument about the game last night, and i got so angry i told her she was dead to me and regret the day we ever met. i don't even like football all that much! (i'm a basketball/baseball fan!) but you always root for the home team, and even if you're an expatriate not native to the region, you still have to respect the home team (otherwise you're getting a free subscription to beat down magazine). she told me she was rooting for the rams last night and on several occasions she was threatened by angry patriots fans. talk about suicidal tendencies! she's not even a real football fan! just because her bf played football in college doesn't automatically make her a football fan. poser! wannabe! a real fan wouldn't revel in the defeat of the opposing team. the margin of victory wasn't even that great. she brings shame to her village and i hope she totally jinxes the rams by rejoicing in their single victory. there's a few more games left in the season, honey. the rams will have plenty of opportunities to showcase how much they suck.

i left work promptly at 5pm to go to an open house. nowadays with the end of daylight savings in effect, it gets dark here in boston as early as 4:30pm or so. so this was my first open house viewing at night. this morning i visited another apartment for sale before work, just to see the outside of it (i'm going to see the inside tomorrow during lunch). the place that i saw tonight, it's at a good location, 5 minute walk away from central square, but i didn't feel any sparks for the space. if you can't fall in love with it, then you shouldn't buy it.