it's so hot and i have to code, woke up at 9am to crash my head against the computer until i either finish my work or pass out from heat exhaustion, whatever comes first. what's keeping me cool is a fan blowing into my face just a few feet away and frequent trips to the shower. i still can't believe nomar is gone. found some photos of him today in a cubs uniform, i almost threw up. it's like breaking up with a girlfriend, you knew the relationship wasn't going to work out (there'd been signs), but you kept on hoping maybe things will be different given enough time. unfortunately time ran out and now nomar is gone. i still think this is all a bad dream and will wake up and nomar will be back at fenway. being a superstitious sports fan, i can't help but to think it was some how my fault. maybe i shouldn't have visited the park yesterday. i think i jinxed the team. in the early evening, i stopped working, motorcycled to belmont high school where i tried looking for monarch caterpillars around claypit pond (unsuccessful), being careful not to step on geese poop. later, i went to my parents for dinner, and then came back home, tired but knowing there's still some code work left to be done. after watching 4400, i started coding again.